DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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