That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
