oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
