I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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