it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
