I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
