I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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