some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
