i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
