sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
