I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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