So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
