well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
