Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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