He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm sobbing to NWA
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
