apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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