You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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