What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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