so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So vagazzling was a success
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
