hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
