after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
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I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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