All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
