So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
