you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Randomize
