I just saw a hot homeless man
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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