did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
you had me at cake vodka
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
