we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
