And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
