New invention idea: vibrating tampons
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
