Got a toothbrush?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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