Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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