the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
