I should be sponsored by Trojan
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
