If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
