If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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