I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
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New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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