is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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