I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
