He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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