so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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