ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
