he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
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