I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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