I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
