i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
