State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
