So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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