bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
