i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
