I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
