Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
