I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
40s are totally the cure
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
