The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
