last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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