I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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