forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
