ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
